creating or consuming.
 
netflix binging or making music.
 
making holiday traditions or “whoa, where’d December go?”
 
taking photos or talking about taking photos/planning to take photos/learning about taking photos.
 
whether you’re creating something tangible like photos or creating a family, there is so much to CONSUME. and that consumption isn’t always mindless, lots of it feels purposeful, from podcasts to tutorials to instagram (i.e., getting on social media and feeling connected to friends, yet, you haven’t really reached out to anyone.) and when we’re consuming these things it feels important. but the problem is you spin yourself into a web of exhaustion and you haven’t actually CREATED anything. You’ve gathered a buncha ideas for making your Christmas season sparkly and amazing and family centered, but you haven’t implemented them. you’ve been on loads of forums about a creative problem you’re having, but then you get a little overwhelmed by all the ideas and execute a grand total of none of ’em. or you research a decision for a very long time and then never DECIDE. or you make grand plans and then scrap all of them when the first idea doesn’t work.
 
i’m laughing a lil to myself because i’m talking about this here with you today as if i know wassup, but this purposeful-consumption-web is a trap i fall into all.the.time.
 
but maybe that makes two of us, and we can find ways to create instead of consume together. to keep our dreams alive and whirl in gorgeous possibility and simultaneously be DOERS.
 
there are some people who are just magnetic creators. they’re automatically the star of their street and the neighborhood staple because they radiate goodness but also because they CREATE goodness through their actions. does that seem painfully obvious? like, to be an incredible family you gotta do it on purpose, with effort and intention? but the way each family carries that out individually, accepting and nurturing the contributions of each member and making a whole that’s greater than the sum of its parts is endlessly fascinating to me.
 
let this be a life lesson that everything in family is a magic factory just pumping out all kinds of perfectly tailored growth opportunities for everyone involved and microcosms of life to be learned from and applied to absolutely every aspect imaginable amen.
 
(if you didn’t catch the hint earlier, i was totally talkin about this family as the goodness-radiating, intentional-creators-of-fabulous-family. you’ll see.)

also hey. if you’re still here reading, why don’t we chat about a family session? having visual reminders of the hard work you’re doing on the daily is inspiring as all get out, i tell ya what. send me an email and i’ll send you all the pricing and scheduling details lickety split, m’love.

they feel like home to me.
they wind me up inside them, wrap me around their arms and fingers and tiny toes, all the way back to finding myself.
we are woven together inseparably.
i know they’ll grow up, and that the whole goal of this is independence. (so unfortunate and so relieving all at once)
but we’ll still be woven and wrapped and wound, even if it’s only on the inside of me.
they feel like extensions of me but they’re worlds all their own. i grew their lives inside my body but their souls are made of stars (quite literally–i just learned about this–how freaking cool right?)
stephanie and samory reminded me that when we have each other we really don’t need anything else. (except maybe beyblades wiink) we just need the comfort of that safe place, right where the only thing you can smell is each other. it’s not always like that but it is when you need to bury your head in those cubic centimeters of unconditional, and we all need to drink that in long and deep.

hi hey helllloo if you’re interested in a family session that doesn’t make you want to call the cheese police, let’s chat about yours.

a house in the middle of nowhere is really a house in the middle of everywhere.
everywhere that matters, for everyone who gets to come home to it on their best and worst days. so it all sings; hums with the joy and love they weave around that space. so much is spun in silence, you know. i get to come and witness the culmination of the whispers and the daily rituals and the magnitude that piles up over thousands of tiny minutes. (pretty rad for a job if ya ask me.)
PS this is a mini session if you wanna see what one looks like!

also hey by the way have you checked out all the details for booking a fall family session this year? WHY NOT? yeah, that’s what i thought. clicky cliky m’friend.

their little faces looking to me constantly gives me seeds of wondering: maybe we really can affect the massive change our world needs, assuage the heartbreak just a little, create something amazing in the form of human hearts. those little pure eyes–i know it’s the most important work to get it right and keep those eyes sparkling, help those eyes see everything through smile crinkles and tears equally.
 
so much responsibility, and yet they have everything they need already. so much weight on us to show them the way, and yet they gotta walk and fall and learn and take the steps all their own.
 
will i ever break the bands that bind me into my smallest self?
 
family gives me hope that i will.
 
family breathes new life into me, and it sucks me dry.
 
the mess of paradox makes me squirm but it’s where the throat puncher beauty lies. when we stay on the sidelines, in straight lines and clear answers we reproduce the same boring mildness. photographers ask me how to stay creative, and the answer is: get into the mess of things that make you uncomfortable. literally and figuratively. we want to skirt around the murky uncomfortable, but man that’s where the guts are. dig in the dirt and grow yourself a garden of risks that paid off–it doesn’t really matter if they paid off in the way you thought or hoped they might; the digging is what matters. we come out better for it.

Well hi if you’re even the teensiest bit interested in a family session this year, you can check out all the pricing, availability, and start-to-finish recent sessions here.

seriously. go click, friend. and let’s make this the year you get family photos that you ultra adore.

Well hi. I have sooo many good things for you. First, a replay of the free training about how to find your perfect family photographer here. If you’ve ever been confused about which photographer to hire or have put off hiring a photographer cause you weren’t sure which one to choose, this is for you. It’s also for you if you’ve ever hired a photographer and been underwhelmed by the results. I’ve talked to tons and tons of photographers so I know wassup when hiring one, and I’m excited to pull back that curtain and give you the inside scoop.

The other thing I don’t want you to miss: booking is now open for fall 2017 family sessions.

I made so many things for you. Some crazy good deals, mini sessions, and full enchilada sessions waiting for you to take a peek so go check out all the details (or just see some recent full family sessions start to finish!)

 

you know how i’m always talking about the same things? the heartbreak and joy of family, the duality of life–how we can’t sign up for heaps of happiness without also knowing intense pain?
 
so, i’m not sick of talking about those even a little. but maybe you’re a tiny sick of hearing about them so i will say just one slice and move on.
 
our family loving is so hard won. every minute we spin a web of what we ultimately create and all of this–these photos, the work i do–is simply my own attempt to sort through how to weave a better creation in my silent minutes and hours that drag and fly. i find myself being terrible at it. really good in theory; really good at certain pieces that might shine more as my kids get older. but the truth–every day in, day sliding out, i am falling down over and over and reevaluating and reconstructing. the solid ugly bottom of it: i’m not a natural.
 
so that thing that you want to do really badly–the thing you see a pin of light proving to your mind is possible, but the path is dark and rocky and you’re somehow always wearing flip flops–please keep moving. I get preachy here sometimes only ’cause i care, friends–because i see me and all of us giving up on the things our deepest cores want far too easily. how we spend our days is how we spend our lives, so the best ways I’m finding to be the kind of mother and woman I want to be are by practicing, practicing in easy moments and the turning-point kind where the old Brooke would have thrown in the towel. This process of self-growth is like rolling myself through a cheese grater some days but what we practice we get better at, and every day I am practicing something, whether conscious or no. I wanna practice on purpose.
 
watching The Naturals–women like Rachel who just wear mothering like a gorgeous glowy second skin–I soak it up like a sponge. And it’s like watching an olympian masterfully execute the same sport you’re fumbling through–ultra inspiring with a swirl of discouraging cause you leave knowing the only way you’ll ever climb to that height is–you guessed it–practice.
 
Here’s to head-down doin’ and the mountains of love all mamas everywhere lather their babies in–sometimes exactly right, sometimes awkward and out of shape, but always the very best we got.

and HEY if you, yeahh you–LOOKING AT YOU–want family photos that feel real and not just the same flavor of boring-mildly-happy, I’d love to photograph the whole story. Let’s chat about your session and I’ll write cha back lightning fast pinky promise.

Holler dear friends. How are you all? Can we talk about confidence today? well yes we can cause I’m in charge here. Bahaha.
Success in photography: it’s not dependent on talent.
For real.
Some of the most talented photographers I’ve ever seen cripple themselves with one thing: lack of belief in themselves. Lack of confidence to do what they really want to do. Lack of confidence to own the value of their work, both monetarily and in everything–the work they take on, the amount of time they spend spinning their wheels, watching other people live the life of their dreams. Pretty depressing right? So this begs the question WHY would anyone ever wanna go down this route, if all you have to do is change your mindset to be successful?
We want to blame lack of talent or ability and tell ourselves, “I’m just not good enough” because that feels like we’re not responsible, and that someone else holds the key to this whole success thing. It’s just a fancied up excuse. We are afraid of putting it all out there, really giving it our all and trying and then failing–so we just fail on purpose by not trying.

But the good news is that fear doesn’t have to run your life, cause when you really boil it down, what are you afraid of? It’s only an emotion. You’re afraid of never being successful or people laughing at you only because of how it would feel. It’s only a willingness to be uncomfortable in chasing your definition of success, versus tricking yourself with “I’m just not good enough, I’ll probably never make it as a photographer, so I’ll just stay in this corner and never make it as a photographer.”
So honey lemme tell you: it’s very simple. All you have to do is being willing to be uncomfortable, be willing to dive full on into a deep pool of newness, and swim around in there for what feels like an eternity. And that discomfort? I’m not going to pretend it’s fun. But here’s the fun part: when you practice that discomfort long enough, leaning into it instead of resisting it–things start lining up. Results start to bang down your door. But most of all: you water and grow more and more confidence in your own ability to do whatever it is you want to do with your one sacred wild life. All you have to do is be willing to find the fun, the delight in the process, the awesome threaded through and on the other side of the discomfort.

All this to say: at many points the workshop is uncomfortable for the peeps who come; it’s all new, and they practice trying on new ideas both in how they shoot and how they see their work, and dare I say, how they approach lyfe. (cause the reasons we are drawn to make art are very connected to life, and it all blurs and bleeds together very beautifully you know.) So I get all proud-mama-hen when I see them rolling into that discomfort head-on, being willing to go out on a limb with something new and supporting each other wholly, and THAT’S when I know I’ve done my job.

wait, before you go, do you wanna know what it’s like to have a family session with yours truly? read some reviews here and get the full scoop. or skip that and let’s just chat about your session, love.

i dunno guys, i just feel like we need more poems in the world.
 
sky candy

clouds and light and expanse

the sky arcs over every day, quietly being its beautiful self

silently twirling in change, cycling through watery dawn

following through to the end–blazing cotton candy

underneath we work our anthill lives

underneath we look up and feel bigger

billowing up and lighter we think high thoughts

live higher lives

motherhood inside the anthill i am a worker bee,

a cog in a machine that only cycles and never stops

things spilled, smashing against four walls and we all wake up to do it all again

but so does the sky–over and over again

cradling the whole world in softness

blazing the whole world in streaks of bright madness

holding space for gray sadness and yellow beaming

a delightful chameleon painting

floating on the waves of every day.

well hey. want to get your family’s here-and-now documented by a sky-loving hippie who adores feelings almost as much as she adores families? that’s me. and as seen here, we don’t have to be in your house the whole time either, m’dear, so no excuses. see more family work here, and let’s chat about your session.

There’s a towering pile next to me of things to pay attention to for Gemma’s care. The Division of Services for People with Disabilities, which everyone kept abbreviating at the meeting (oh the DSPD wait list, it’s 10 years long but you should just get on it cause you never know!) and next after that, an endless supply of more acronyms with a one-eight-hundred number and a great batch of hold music to listen to. business cards for folks who are supposed to help out but can’t even tell me a straight answer of what exactly i’m ‘posed to do next.
 
All this sounds like a pity party. it is a little. (you’re invited!) and it makes it sound like people aren’t helpful–they are.
 
but there is this pile, this pile that only i can rake through. a pile of logistics that i’m learning and practicing being better at but still, people, my natural skill set lies in wonder-gazing at the sky (with neighbors asking me what the What i’m doing) and making things in the form of made up novels when i was 10 and now photographs and poetry and words (and a list of 87 other things that are currently on the back burner. Sewing my own clothes, painting, writing another novel, on and on). i always skirted logistics because i felt like they were meaningless–setting your course by the clouds was the ultimate shortcut to a life that felt deeper and more. but here i am, with these incredibly needful things staring me in the face, and the struggle to turn them into checked off boxes on a list that will literally never end.
 
but guess what i just decided: all of the nailing down details and calling numbers is probably just the minuscule price to pay for having the unrepeatable Gemma in my life.
 
a cost i’d fork over a million times over.
 
so the thousand small prices you pay to be a mother–in spilled milk and little ones who can’t be bothered to listen and managing schedules juggled with the teetering platter of emotional lives you help your tiny people navigate–no question it’s worth it, right? and yet we find ourselves (see above, cough) complaining about the contrast, forgetting that inherent in the package deal is the most mundane, the most grit-your-teeth challenges, struggles to “balance” and help without being a helicopter–
 
but ALSO, wrapped up in this deal: the most exquisite, nuanced, inexplicable joy ever created. wouldn’t it makes sense that we’d have to pay for it, a cost exactly proportionate to the benefit we glean? so i’m all in, and the challenge now is to fork over that price with the most grateful, willing, grace-lined heart.

Hello hello my friend if you’re still here reading I’d really love to do a photo session for you and the weird thing is it’s the hardest and easiest thing in the world to sell because preserving memories! time flying so fast! important! but then there’s all the reasons that ‘cha aren’t hiring a photographer (each of those is a different link love!) so after you spend some time exploring why you haven’t already booked something, let’s just do it.

Some days we do it awkwardly or terribly but most days the sum comes out freaking beautiful because the little ones in our charge know love. We are the ones who care about humanity one mundane day at a time, one wild hope after the next.
 
We play along with dreams to usher in their truth, we hold space and we hold babies and we hold the world.
Hey there lovely! If you’re interested in non-boring photos of you and your favorite people in your favorite places, I’d really love to make some for you. I can’t promise I won’t love you at first sight or steal your babies for a squeeze or gush justalittletoomuch about your two year old’s curly hair (not that that’s ever happened before…ahem) but I can promise we will make fabulous photos that ring true of your deepest relationships, of all the feelings you wade through as a parent in this wild endeavor. (and heyy i can make you look good while doin it too!) Wanna see a full gallery of my latest session? Email me and I’ll send it right over along with all the pricing + scheduling deets.