two faced

there are two sides of me. the boss lady side who eats marketing for breakfast and the poetic side who is in love with the sky and the stars, the ocean and the flowers and (way) overuses the word magical. Sometimes these two clash; sometimes they’re friends. sometimes i feel guilty that there are hot poopy diapers rotting in my garage while I sit here and carve out space for my own dreams. sometimes i feel so on fire with all the overflowing fabulousness that is the life i get to lead that i have to screech it out in a series of sing-song ‘yeah, yeah’ with some alternating squeals of delight.
 
morgan and all mamas who have businesses, jobs, main hustles, side hustles, talents and dreams of their own that they’re trying to balloon into reality–they get it. (and did i just describe all mamas everywhere? i hope so.) the way they see mothering and work out the TRY part–balance, needs, fun, light-heartedness and laughing at ourselves and the little people we hang with–it warms my insides and gives me hope that those lines between the sides of us, the hats we wear, the pulls on our time and energy and the pursuits we dream about will get to continue to blur and fade, watercolor together into a love affair with our own lives. that’s what i want for every mom.
 
because i used to be the frazzlefest who’d show up everywhere late and looking around like hey don’t you see, my life is so hard, look at this plate piled high with overwhelm, cut me some slack. 
 
then–i asked myself what it would take to go from surviving to thriving. from the inside of me. wanna know the answer? it was trying on contentment + massive gratitude–changing the way i think about mothering plus running a business, and giving myself back the power i’d given away to define my own success and love my own setup glinting with the same fierceness with which i’d wished it away.
 
so now–i am at home in the bigness of all of it. i don’t worry about a lot of things; i cut myself slack so other people don’t have to, i choose to adore my opportunities and know that mistakes and experiences and boredom are beautiful things for my kids to see and walk through. (and also–i’m still late. ;))
 
p.s., (don’t worry, i do actually throw the diapers in the dumpster at the end of every day. there’s just so many of them that at any given time there’s probably a small mountain accumulating, ya know.)
also hello. if you are still here at the bottom of this post and you’d love for your closest relationships to be seen with all the light, love, and hard freakin’ work inside them, i’d love to photograph your family.