it’s funny how humans can be so guarded, because we reveal parts of ourselves unintentionally, everywhere
like leaving a map of footprints back to our truest heart.
i’ve never understood people who can hide their feelings (surprise surprise I’m not one of ’em)–and the idea that we even should hide them is honestly still foreign to me. I get that most people do it out of habit, to protect themselves, and because it admittedly *can* be a bit off-putting and maybe dangerous to jump into a stranger’s arms the first time you meet and spill your deepest guts on their freshly laundered wholly presentable normal-people clothes. 🙂
So of course there’s some magical elusive “happy medium” where we all get to skip small talk and go right to things that matter but without any risk or rejection or discomfort. please and thank you.
It makes me smile that we as humans have figured out SO many things–we have created incredible technology, mind boggling inventions and achievements that make our lives so much easier and more enjoyable and all around fabulous–but we haven’t been able to hack our human experience yet. We still have to grapple with tough emotions, every single one of us, and there’s no permanent way to avoid or sidestep pain, grief, anger, disappointment, shame. There’s part of me that’s like, “HEY, we’ve invented the iphone and indoor plumbing and 3D printing, why can’t we just have a parade of positive emotions and experiences all the day? Why haven’t we spent time figuring out how to rid ourselves of the emotions that bring so much suffering to people all over?”
But the wise part of me knows that it is essential for us to struggle inside our humanness, to make room for the glory. And certainly we can help ourselves and others suffer less, and surely we’ve got a whole lot more sadness than is necessary, but to be true to who we are (the whole version) we have to feel it all. To turn over those hard parts in our hands, not in a frantic panic to rid ourselves of them forever, but to give ourselves the gift of having seen life in full color, rich and blinding and intense but forever worth it.
