there’s just no outside way to know if you’re getting it all wrong. no button that blinks, no barometer, none of those obnoxious speed limit signs that flashes “SLOW DOWN”, no grade, no measurement.
just your gut.
because your kids’ emotions are the oceans you swim in all day long, coaxing, coaching, compassion-ing on rafts or boats or whatever log happens to be there to let you float for a few minutes. and sometimes the most you want in the whole world is just a band aid fix, a candy cane to stop a tantrum–sometimes you’re sure that’s the best thing for everyone involved, and other times you are able to hover above and see that you encouraging, showing up, and holding the lines with emotional intelligence are the best things you can do because you are playing the longest game there ever was.
helping shape a human life
in a thousand small moments.
the test for most of us, i think, is not about any explosive “failure”, but rather the question of mediocrity. you can do motherhood on medium and probably no one will bat an eye. you can do life on quiet volume, check out and numb out, and maybe the only one who’ll ever know the difference is you. but that calling to be more–even and especially when we don’t feel like it–is the thing that breaks my heart and makes me long to improve and grow and change even if it takes every ounce of guts and courage under my skin.
as we swim together in those waves of emotion and shared but separate experience, i just really hope my kids see the swirling lightness among the dark. that seeing me at my lows gives them hope and a wholeness, a 360 view of what a human experience is–while walking that delicate forever-scarred line, you know. wink. if i figure out a formula for that i’ll let you know immediately, pinky promise. until then, i’ll keep trying to encapsulate the glitter and glow of the most stretching thing we ever raise our hands to show up for–love. the kind that forces you to choose, invites you to be present, is so simple, so easy, and so, so hard.
hey, you. if you’re longing for someone to see the glitter inside your most tender relationships PICK ME. Let’s chat about your session.